Go Forth

Gratitude

2009-07-25T19:49:00.000-07:00

I was given a special gift when I flew out of South Africa. The Soweto Gospel Choir, which is really famous, happened to be on my plane and as we landed in Amsterdam, they sang several amazing songs. It was a surreal end to my African adventure. I have been home just under 2 weeks and I am in the process of processing. Its taken me awhile to blog about being home because I have so many random and jumbled up and inconsistent thoughts that I wasn't sure how they would end up once written. But tonight I am babysitting for my friends and thought I would take the opportunity to try to compose something.

Many people have asked me how I am dealing with reentry, culture shock, whatever you want to call it and I have to say that I am very happy. I was trying to figure out recently why I am so happy and I have come up with a few things. First of all, as mentioned before, I really think I thought I would die or something terrible would happen on this trip. If you go back to my very first blog posting, you can read about all of my irrational fears and I have realized that although I absolutely love traveling, there is a bit of stress involved. Everytime I got on a crowded minibus, I prayed that we wouldn't crash (for good reason, as one of my drivers was drinking which I didn't realize until I was getting off!), everytime I swam in the lake, I would frantically scan around pray there was no crocodile, I prayed a lot to ward off snakes, I prayed in Joburg that noone would mug me or carjack me. In general, I prayed a lot. Which brings me to why I am so happy. I AM ALIVE! And I get to hang out with my family and friends again and enjoy lattes and walks on the street. Anyway, it made me realize that God is trustworthy and that I can trust Him to take care of me. It was like, "wow, God we did it!".

Secondly, I am finding it hard to complain about anything or be too stressed when in the grand scheme of things, I have a really good and easy life. I met women in Africa who have to prostitute themselves just to feed their children or have contracted HIV because their husband had an affair, or have essentially no freedoms or choices in their lives. And I for some reason, was born in a country in this century, with my family, where I have endless choices and freedoms. Even though I am a bit stressed thinking about the future and having to start a new job and what is next...at least I have choices. I have choices to eat what I want and can get it in two minutes instead of having to eat cassava everyday and work really hard to make it. I have the choice of whether or not to have children. I can stay single if I want and never have to deal with a man having control over me or exposing me to diseases. It's pretty incredible when you think about the millions of women in the world who don't have choices. I'm going to go off for a moment on this because it was the issue that frustrated me the most and made me feel the most helpless so bear with me. Many people here often think of HIV/AIDS as a disease that people get because they are sleeping around or something else that makes it a disease that affects "them" and lets us judge people and not have to actually do something about it. We have compassion for the innocent children with it and the orphans, but not always so much when we think about adults. But the majority of women I met were just as innocent. They are victims of poverty and simply being women. They got this disease because their husband brought it home to them even though they will often be blamed by their husband. They got it because they had to prostitute themself for the most basic necesity of life. I truly believe that the reason Africa is facing an HIV epidemic is because of poverty and women's rights, which is linked to poverty. Not to say that we should have less compassion for anyone with HIV, but maybe because I am a woman, it especially upsets me. Basically, I'm incredibly grateful that I can choose who I marry and when, and get out of bad situations, and be independant of men.

Thirdly, I am grateful for family and friends. I haven't had to worry about a place to stay because so many people have offerred and it has been great catching up with people. I don't know about the future yet. Have a few ideas, but will take some thinking and praying. I know I want to go back. As frustrated as I may sound at times, I absolutely love Africa and can't imagine not going back. I think I'm also happy because I finally realized that this is what I want to do with my life. It gives me purpose. But, I don't know when or how or where. I don't think it will be for awhile and I know I will always want to return home for extended periods of time. I just want to enjoy the process. Catching up with people and moving onward in this crazy journey.

Trusting my Creator

2009-07-09T05:21:00.001-07:00

Its been a bit of a whirwind week with flight changes, changing countries, and having lots on my mind. What I didn't share in my last blog was the true reason for leaving Malawi early. Now that I know everything is OK, I can share it because it is a part of my journey this year.

While in Malawi a month ago, I found a breast lump. Because I had surgery, I didn't think much of it, but took note and thought I need to check it out when I get home. Unfortunately it had all of the hallmarks of a lump to take seriously with it being hard, round, and painless (All you women out there should be checking for this monthly!) Anyway, about a week ago, I asked another nurse with me to feel it and she thought it was a bit concerning and after discussing it with others, I decided it needed to be checked out sooner rather than later. I really wasn't that worried, but I thought if it was something, I would kick myself later. With Malawi's health care system being what it is, the closest medical facility to check it was South Africa. So I said a sad good-bye to Malawi and left 3 weeks ahead of schedule to return to Joburg. I was really unsure with how to proceed because I don't have medical insurance at home and thought that if I get results here, it could impact things with insurance at home. At the same time, SA has a great private health system and I was able to get right into a doctor and do tests cheaply. So, yesterday I had an ultrasound and mammogram which were inconclusive so I had a needle biopsy and the doctor just called with the results, that it is fine! It's funny how the mind works because although I knew it would be fine, I was mentally preparing myself for the worst. I was blessed to be surrounded by good friends here who offered me their prayers and help getting around town.

It's actually made me think about a lot. First, it made me think about my priorities in life. When I briefly had the flitting thought of what if I have 6 months to live, I thought I should have spent the past year with family. It made me realize how quickly things can change. But, its been an incredible year where I have learned and lived the life I think God has called me to. This life can end at any time and I want to be living in the will of God, not in fear. This year was about overcoming fears and I don't think being away from family this year was a mistake. It will make me appreciate them more when I see them.
Secondly, I had the thought, "God wouldn't do that to me". Especially when I thought what if I also have TB and they have to treat my nonactive TB first before I can be on chemo. I know irrational again, but these are the thoughts you have. It made me think about what I believe God's nature to be. Does He cause things like cancer in us? or Prevent it at times? How involved is He with us. Would I have been angry at God if I had been diagnosed with cancer? In honesty, I have to admit I would have been. I would have wondered why God would have brought me here to have it end like this. I do believe God is actively involved in our lives and that He sometimes answers prayers the way we want and sometimes He doesn't. I hope that if the diagnosis had been different, I could have grown closer to God and seen this year as a time to do that.
Thirdly, I had those nagging doubts again that I experienced at the start of this trip and before leaving for Malawi, that something bad would happen. I believe this was the work of Satan to try to prevent me from living the life God has for me by making me fearful. Before I left on this trip, I had a feeling of impending doom and that something "bad" would happen. But I really felt they were not feelings from God and this was confirmed when I started living in South Africa. It was an incredible time of growing closer to God, getting baptized, and experiencing His Holy Spirit. I knew that this was where I was supposed to be and I felt the same way once in Malawi. But during the past 24 hours waiting for the biopsy results, I had this feeling that what if this is the "bad" thing. Satan created lots of doubts in me about what if this year wasn't right. It is crazy how quickly doubts and fear can enter. But, God is good. And I am fine and it wasn't a "bad" thing and I have had an incredible year that will impact me for life and I have learned more than I could have hoped for, and my relationship with God is strong.

Its going to take awhile to process this year. I think I will struggle a bit at home. I am overly excited to see family and friends, but once that dies down, reality will set in. I am not much closer to knowing the future of my life. I have no concrete plans for the future. I know that this year impacted me and will impact future decisions I make, but I am learning to be at peace with uncertainty. Beyond all, I am learning to trust God.

By the way, I will be home in the States, next week.

Thank You Very Much Bye Bye

2009-07-01T00:16:00.000-07:00

In the words of our cook, Harry, a big "Thank you very much bye bye" to Malawi. I have changed my plans once again and will be flying out to Joburg on Monday, the 6th. I am actually quite sad to be leaving Malawi early, but I have wrapped up many of my projects and it seems time to move on. I am unsure how long I will be in Joburg, but may return home rather soon. We will see with flight changes, etc. It had been an incredible year, but I am also ready to see family and friends. Things could change again so I will keep you posted.
Things I will miss about Mwaya...

Waking up at 5am and hearing the night watchman talking loudly in Chitonga while I try to get a few more minutes of sleep
Using my headtorch from 5pm onward and covering myself in mosquito repellent
Watching for snakes on the path as I walk
Being bombarded by children yelling, "mzungu" and "give me money"
The wonderful people of Mwaya especially the staff at Ripple
The openness of expression of the people. The freeness of hugs and emotions.
The Mwaya library with many books I have not had time to read and sharing library breakfasts with Mr. Longwe and Japhert
Cramming onto minibuses that are already too full
Deciding between vegetable stew, vegetable curry, mashed potatoes, fish stew, or lentils for dinner
An unbelievably beautiful lake that can change from crystal clear calmness to crashing waves
The other international volunteers that have become good friends
The amazing friends I have made that I will likely never see again that unfortunately don't have internet access.

To all of this and much more, I say thank you. And to those who have ever considered traveling to Africa, come to Ripple Africa at Mwaya Beach.

A Few More Months To Go

2009-06-27T00:16:00.000-07:00

It has been an interesting last few weeks. I have been really struggling with feeling pretty useless and hopeless and finding that any ideas I have are quickly smashed. There is a constant learning curve of finding out more and more of cultural beliefs and how these impact the health practices of the community. Oftentimes, simple solutions are not so simple here and there begins to seem no solution. I have recently stopped helping at the health center because I am not very useful there since I don't know the language and to be honest most people here do not use the health center because they rely more on traditional healers and witch doctors. Instead, I am turning my focus to the community and doing home visits of children that we find are very underweight at the under 5's clinics. One such child that I visited is tiny and severely underweight. Any idea I suggested in terms of nutrition did not seem to be an option as the mother does not have any source of income and is single. She is feeding the child only nsimma, a local food made from cassava roots with basically no nutritional value. Even simple things like groundnuts are too expensive for her. I saw a few chickens around and asked about eggs, but the chickens do not belong to her. Plus, I am learning that things like suggesting eating chicken eggs is not so simple here. There is a belief that eggs are bad for children because they will cause seizures and that if pregnant women eat the eggs, the child will be bald. I am reminded of a Zimbabwean friend of mine that was very dismayed at my wondering of why people in the South African townships do not eat the many chickens that are wandering around aimlessly. He said, that you wouldn't dare eat the chickens because someone might have placed a spell on them. In the West, we often want to be accepting of everyone's cultural beliefs and say that they all have merit and value, but unfortunately many of them are killing people in poor parts of the world. The mother of the child I visited had gotten pregnant because she could not afford to pay the witchdoctor for muti, traditional medicine, so had slept with him.

I had a glimmer of hope this week though when I went for the day with a man working with the Malawi Council for the Handicapped. We visited several elderly people to give them dates of their upcoming cataracts surgery and also visited several children that have been helped by surgeries for physical deformities or prosthesis. An NGO in Germany pays the costs of the cataracts surgeries and fly an English doctor in twice a year to do 400 surgeries each time. These surgeries can usually provide lifelong cures to people. It was encouraging to see that this work is being done because I have often wondered what is happening to people with physical disabilities.

When I am discouraged, I often am humbled when I think of the impact of Jesus's life. It is amazing to think that he changed eternity during his short life and by surrounding himself with very few people. Sometimes, I think we always want the big solutions and to see major changes, but I am hoping that God will give me the grace to make a small difference in a few people's lives and to at least show them that they have value. I honestly can not imagine doing this work without the hope of Christ in my life. It would be too frustrating and hopeless.

Don't get me wrong, things are also amazing here. I climbed into the hills last weekend and saw the amazing landscape and I swim almost daily in the lake. I am meeting incredibly gracious people who call me 'Ama Molly' and have been hit on by more men than I have ever in my life (Some of them incredibly good-looking), unfortunately there are quite a few cultural differences:->. It would be nice if Western men thought the bigger and curvier the better, but I think that is a losing battle. Anyway, I am continuing to be challenged and growing more than I could have ever hoped for. I am down to my final 2 months and it is sure to continue to be interesting.

A Little Holiday

2009-05-25T03:25:00.000-07:00

I spent the last week away from Ripple exploring more of Malawi with friends I have met here. We took the ferry from Nkhata Bay over to the tiny island of Likomo Island. From there, me and two others went onto Mozambique to a tiny town called Cobue. This ended up being a huge mistake with us discovering just how tiny it really was and having great difficulty finding lodging and food. For once, I was disappointed with Lonely Planet as the lodge we had hoped to stay in was 20 km away and very difficult if not impossible to get to. We thought our little place we live in Malawi was remote, but it turns out that this was much more so with essentially no traffic coming or going and the only town boat broken. We ended up finding a place for the night and returned to our friends on Likomo Island the next day to a wonderful backpackers called Mango Drift. We were spoiled there with amazing views, crystal clear water, and fabulous food. I'll let my pictures share the rest....
It felt like we were climbing onboard the Titanic when we boarded the "Illala". We chose to go first class which meant we could stay on the top deck and had the option to rent a mattress. Unfortunately, it was very cold up there with no protection from the wind. On our way back, all of the mattresses were rented so it was a pretty miserable night laying on the hard floor freezing in the wind. The other options were down in the lower area with no windows being pushed up against chickens and fish. So, we were pretty lucky.
Me and Sarah on a little boat heading over to Mozambique. It was a bit of a mission getting on these small boats off of the Illala. Note how tired I am. Not looking my best.
Women washing themselves, clothes, and dishes in the lake.

The beautiful sunset in Mozambique. We decided we couldn't complain too much about Mozambique with views like this.
Children washing dishes beside the trail.
It's nice to have connections. The girls to my right work at Mango Drift and they are friends with a guy who has painted me pictures back at Mwaya Beach. They invited me and Patrick, another volunteer, over for lunch of rice, goat, and beans. I met her whole family and her mother is to my left.
The sunset from Mango Drift on Likomo Island

Me and Patrick having an evening swim. A rare treat as where we live we worry about crocodiles.

"No, we are waiting for Mzungus"

2009-04-30T00:33:00.000-07:00

This is what the little boy said when told he needed to go to school. I was waiting for a minibus to get to the clinic, and as usual was surrounded by a group of preschoolers. A woman told them to go to school and they said something. Apparently, they said, "No, we are waiting for mzungus" which translates to "No, we are waiting for white people". Its pretty funny being such a novelty.

I had one of my best days in Africa this week. I have been helping the midwife some at the clinic in the mornings helping her with prenatal exams and family planning. On Tuesday, a woman came in labor. She was 19 and this was her second pregnancy. She arrived in active labor and dilated at 7cm. The midwife thought she would deliver in 3 hours. I stayed with her while Janet, the midwife, went to another room to do the prenatals. I felt pretty uncomfortable as this woman was in obvious pain and I couldn't speak her language to see if I could do anything to help her or if she wanted me to leave her alone. Her mother had brought her, but was waiting in the waiting area. From what I can tell, most women do not have family or friends present for the labor or delivery. I left her alone, but at one point, she was trying to massage her lower back so I tentatively started trying to massage her. For the next 3 hours, I became a masseuse/labor coach as each time I stopped, she would hit her back and point at me. She didn't progress as fast as Janet had expected and the baby's heartrate was dropping quite a lot so Janet was a bit worried. No fetal monitors here, just a fetoscope that you place on the tummy and put your ear to the other side. Just as we were hanging an IV, things started moving more quickly and she delivered a healthy baby girl after 5 hours at the clinic. It was amazing and such a privilege to get to share in this moment. Right after delivery, Janet had me take the baby to rub and suction and examine. It was tense for a few minutes as the baby was trying to breathe with lots of secretions, but after suctioning, everything was good and the baby was breathing well. I gave her to her mom and she immediately started breastfeeding. I was humbled again by what an amazing God we have, with such creativity to bring new life into the world through women. And I was humbled by the strength of African women. Baby and Mom will stay at clinic for 2 days so I got to see them again yesterday and all was well.

Things here are going by quickly and slowly at the same time. I can't believe I have almost been here 2 months, yet there are days that are very slow. Last night, I was in bed at 6:45! I'm looking forward to taking a week off in a few weeks to take a ferry to the islands and the Mozambican side of the lake. From pictures, it looks amazing.

Thanks for the comments you are posting. I love reading them. Thank you for your prayers. I continue to need them. Many blessings.

A picture says a thousand words

2009-04-21T00:28:00.000-07:00

I'm finally at the internet cafe because we are nearly out of food so I offered to go to town. Things are still going really well. May left last week which was sad to say good-bye. I'm so glad she decided to come. Without her, I may have never gotten off the bus and would be home by now. Quite a few new volunteers have come which is great because I am not the newbie anymore. I decided to be lazy and let my pictures do the talking this time....
A child being weighed at an under 5's clinic. Definitely the most inaccurate scales I have ever used. I have given up trying to worry about the scales often not being zeroed, etc. Hopefully we are getting an estimate.
A woman getting her baby ready for vaccines at an under 5's clinic. I'm not sure how my patients at home would have felt about having their babies get vaccinated in the dirt. The under 5's clinics are always an experience.A baby getting vaccinated at the under 5's clinic. We just line them up and poke away.
I am quickly becoming the sex education teacher around here, which is pretty funny. There is a huge need for it. This is me at a under 5's clinic giving a female condom training. Here I am putting my hand into a condom because the women were concerned that the condoms were too small. Planning to do many more of these trainings. I have realized that I am definitely a nurse because I don't even feel uncomfortable about it.
We run into many children on the path. Most of them run out to greet us shouting, "Mzungu", white person. The toddlers are often afraid of us though and the little one in the green shirt in this picture cried if we tried to come too close.
Some fisherboys that I ran into down on the lake. They were happy to pose for a picture.
A fisherman out on the lake. Most of the fisherman do not know how to swim. Unfortunately, I don't think my lifeguarding skills would help much here.
We went to dinner at a local man's house. He used to own a restuarant and is very helpful with volunteers. Here his pregnant wife is preparing our meal outside on an open fire. They cooked for 11 of us the other day. We had chicken, rice, nsimma (cornmeal based), fries, and pumpkin soup.
Me and ay waiting for dinner at their house.

2009-04-11T00:20:00.000-07:00

The rain has finally dried up. Last week it seemed it would never end. Because of all of the humidity even things in our cabin are damp feeling. It reminds me of camping in the rain in Oregon. I had to put my shoes under the wood stove today. Luckily, I finally bought an umbrella which should make my life easier. The other day, May and I were both completely soaked walking back from the clinic.

I'm beginning to feel like I'm at a health retreat. Luckily, the daily 14km walk that I thought I would be doing is more like 5-10km, but that is still a lot more exercise than I was getting. Luckily, I have been feeling really good and the walking has not been difficult. I'm eating more vegetables than I ever have including things like okra and eggplant and I'm drinking more water than I ever have. Only a few cokes a week. As I told my mom, people should take all of the money they would use for diet programs to come here.

I went to church on Sunday and it was quite an experience. I had been warned that church can last several hours here so was a bit intimidated especially with the heat and not knowing the language. I and a few other volunteers attended a church just a short walk away and is African Presbyterian. We were told it started at 9am, but when we arrived there was only a handful of people. Apparently, they have a bible study from 9-10 and then the main service starts lasting until 12ish. Luckily, one of the church leaders is the education coordinator that we know so he was very kind to translate the service for us. An interesting thing is that the women and children sit on the floor on one side of the room and the men sit on benches on the other side of the room. After the 3 hours of sitting on the floor, my foot fell asleep and I had to limp out of the church with the paster asking if I was OK! I kept thinking that at least I was working on my core. Everyone was extremely welcoming and they seemed very excited to have visitors. There were about 70 people there. The service involved lots of beautiful a capella harmonized singing. As always, I was blown away by their ability to harmonize. (Sidenote: Mom-if my and Arike harmonizing was the highlight of your 1996 summer, then I can't imagine your excitement at hearing malawian singing). Also, I am so intrigued by the children's ability to keep rhythm. Tiny children of 2-3 yrs were clapping their hands to the beat. They should have been in Sharon Hollaron's dance class. We were brought up to the front to introduce ourselves and then they sang us a welcome song and each came up to shake our hands. I felt so priviledged to get to be a part of this. It felt like we should be paying big money for such an incredible concert. At the end of the service, the paster's wife thanked us for sitting on the floor with the other women for the entire time. I think they expected that we would sit on the benches and this seemed to mean a lot to them. In a place where life is such a struggle, people's hope in God is authentic and tangible. It makes me wonder if we have lost something in the West. I hope to attend about once a month. I think this is all my bum can handle.

I am still getting used to know instant internet, lack of electricity, no ATM's, and eating mostly vegetables. But I am definitely enjoying it. I felt a bit homesick today and I don't think the rain helps, but mostly I feel so blessed that I am able to do this and experience this way of life that has so much to teach us. I haven't figured out what it means for my future, but I know that it is changing me.

Following some children down the path to find our community English class. We are teaching English to some of the local women. I keep feeling like an old missionary woman with my long skirts, straw hat, and no makeup.I may have already put this photo on here, but I love it so wanted to make sure it got posted.Learning to play Bao. Alex is a local carver and carved the game for me. It's actually really fun.May's project of painting blackboards at the primary school. I kept suggesting we hire it out, but she was determined to do it and it is now completed and looking great.

Sweating in an internet cafe listening to AKON

2009-03-27T01:13:00.000-07:00

As I write this, I'm sitting here listening to AKON, the rapper. For some reason, its making me laugh.

We have officially had our orientation and it is a bit overwhelming because there is so much that could be done that it is almost difficult to begin. But, we are starting to settle in and figure out where we can be of best use. It is hard not to get pulled many different directions and before you know it, you have overcommitted yourself. It looks like we will spend at least M-W at the health clinic assisting with wound care and assisting the midwife. This has already been quite an experience which I will expand on later. I am going to help teach some lifeskills classes at the secondary school which will include things like HIV, reproduction, first aid, etc. I also am planning to do some first aid training to the primary school teachers and make sure they have a first aid kit. A few afternoons, I am going to help with some of the after school clubs such as the art club and Health club. So, we should be pretty busy soon.

I had my first day at the clinic on Monday and it was quite an experience. We arrived at the same time as the midwife, Janet. (She was actually on our matola, minibus taxi) There was a woman in labor so Janet set to work assessing her while May and I stood around unsure what to do. After about 90 minutes, I walked back into the room after seeing some sick babies and May was wiping down a babygirl. It reminded me how lucky we are to have the resources that we have for childbirth. Here, there was no pain medicine, no running water, no pediatrician to assess the baby. Janet had to stitch the mother with no local anesthetic even! Then, within 30 minutes, the mother had to get up and walk to the postpartum room which consists of several beds for women who have delivered. No bathing offered to the mother, just rags placed on her. The family of the new mothers are supposed to care for them so they must bring food and water. They also brings cloths to wrap the baby in as nothing is provided by the clinic. Although, they do get a mosquito net to take home which is a huge bonus. Later in the morning, I asked the midwife if she would check on the baby, but she said that since the grandmother is there, she was not concerned. There is no formula available anywhere so the mother must figure out how to feed her baby. No lactation consultants here. Also, if something goes wrong, there is not much you can do because the nearest hospital is 30 minutes away and there is only one ambulance for the entire area. Thank you, Lord, that I was born in a time and place where I can choose whether to have kids and having multiple birth options and medical expertise around me. Apparently, most women here go to a traditional birth attendant (TBA) rather than the clinic. The government is trying to stop this because of problems with unhygeinic practices, etc, but most women still go to them. You have to pay the TBA and if you have a girl you pay 400 kwacha, but if you have a boy, you pay 500 kwacha. I wonder if they think that the TBA has special power to cause you to have a boy? I don't know if this is true, but its possible.

I am learning tons as always about cultural differences, the inequity of the world, etc. I am also struck by how everywhere people are still the same. I went to a netball (like basketball) and soccer game on Saturday. It was really fun and much of the community seemed to come out. I was impressed that the girls played netball in skirts with no bra and no shoes for the most part. The boys played soccer mostly without shoes. They were really good and had their own cheerleaders and peanut sellers.

I am also learning to live with insects. Definitely, the negative of this experience. Part of the reason we go to bed so early (7:30-8) is because it is dark and the insects are definitely out. I have learned to do a quick scan of the bathroom before using the stall. The bathroom in communal and outside. It is really nice, but not fully enclosed so easy for insects and snakes (so I have heard) to get into. Last night, I was about to use the 3rd stall before spotting a huge turantula like spider near the sink. Another volunteer told me to only use this stall as a last resort. The 2nd stall had a big cockroach on the top of the toilet, so I went for the 1st stall which passed my visual sweep. I really don't understand why God created certain things. My mom would be proud of me because I am finally making my bed. This is to prevent insects from getting into my sheets. So, I tuck in my sheets tightly and put the mosquito net tightly around the bed. There is great comfort in using a mosquito net.

It really is a great place to come and experience even despite the insects and I would friends to come out. Is anyone interested??

A quick update on my feet: I was pretty concerned about coming here because my feet have bothered me a lot and there is tons of walking. Before I left, lots of people prayed for my feet and I am happy to report that they haven't been painful at all!! Its so exciting because they were seriously hurting for the past year. So, God is faithful and I haven't had any problems with the walking.The view from our deck.A few girls on the trail walking homePlaying netball in skirts and no shoes.

The warm heart of Africa

2009-03-21T03:57:00.000-07:00

I feel like I have so much to say that it will be tough to get it all down. Sorry but this may be a long one. :-> What a beautiful country! Before I came, many people told me that Malawi was beautiful and had friendly people, but it has surpassed my expectations. The first thing I noticed as we flew in was how green it was. And it has an intense green. Not dark green, like Oregon, but bright green. After spending our first night in Lilongwe, we headed out to Mwaya Beach. We were supposed to arrive at 3pm, but as is often the case in Africa, the bus was running a little off schedule so we didn't arrive until 8pm meaning it was dark. This made the 2.5km walk down to the beach a little more difficult. I am very glad May was with me. I think I would have stayed on the bus back to the airport otherwise. I had my directions from Ripple Africa out and my headtorch ready and we departed the bus at the police roadblock at Matete. All of the Malawians on the bus knew where we were going because for many stops we had been asking if it was the Matete police roadblock. So, when we arrived, they all stood up and said now we are there and laughed. We got off the bus and were quickly greeted by porters who wanted to help us get our bags down to the beach, but we were a bit nervous to just go off with anyone so were quickly relieved when a few men with headtorches came up to us knowing our names. They quickly grabbed our bags and we set off on the small dirt path throught the tall grass. Halfway to the beach, we saw a few more headtorches in the distance and were joined by two of the guys volunteering here who had come to help us. After a bit of puddle avoiding we arrived to Ripple Africa. Unfortunately because of the dark, we couldn't see the lake or much of anything since it is pitch black, but they had saved us some dinner and we sat around the table with lanterns meeting the other volunteers. There are 7 other volunteers and they are all Brittish. Two married couples, one woman, and two other guys. Really great people who I am really enjoying getting to know. All of them are working in the schools here and there is one nurse. (By the way for any of you older women who have always dreamed of coming to Africa, but are scared, both May and Bev are in their 50's and here, so you can do it!). There is no electricity here so when it is dark, it is very dark so we go to bed early around 7:30-8pm. It kinda feels like you are camping at a good campground because you have to brush your teeth with your headtorch. I have to admit, I don't love the dark, but I am sure I will get used to it. My main concern is snakes, but only a few have been seen (one in the kitchen cupboard!). Otherwise, I am trying to not look around much while getting ready for bed as my first night, I saw 3 fairly large spiders in the bathroom in a matter of minutes.

We woke up the next day to a somewhat rainy morning, but the view was incredible. We basically have our own private beach with just a few fishermen out in the water. The disappointing part is that because it is the rainy season, we can't really swim because the crocodiles have been flushed into the lake. Apparently, one was seen in the water near here recently, but none have been seen on the beach. We were told that if we really wanted to swim, we can between the hours of 10am and 3pm because they aren't active then or if other people are swimming, but to always have someone keeping a watch out for you for crocs. SO, don't think I will be swimming! I'm not quite sure what the look out person could do if you got taken by a crocodile so we are staying out of the water. I haven't heard of any of the other volunteers swimming. But, apparently during the dry season we can swim. Most of the locals stay out of the water unless they are fishing because they are unable to swim. It is beautiful here and the people are incredibly friendly. It is quite a change from Joburg where I felt I couldn't really trust anyone I didn't know. Here, it is safe to wander anywhere and everyone stops to ask your name and where you are from. It can take awhile to get anywhere because you have to greet everyone you encounter on the trail. There are mahy footpaths and I feel so blessed to be able to have this experience where I am living among the locals. Everyone knows that you are volunteering at Ripple and many of them are employed by Ripple. So they are extremely thankful and kind.
Now, for the depressing statistics and difficult part of being here. Malawi is among the top 10 poorest countries in the world. Average monthly income is around $6.00 per month! Infant mortality is around 68% meaning that 68% of children under the age of 5 years old die! It is incredibly hard to understand in a world where we have such incredible medical abilities and wealth that this is happening. It is mostly due to malaria. If people had mosquito nets, it would greatly decrease these numbers. The average lifespan is 38 years old. Many women have their first babies at age 14-16 years and the average number of children is 5-6. Imagine, that pretty much every woman has lost a child here. Employment is pretty much subsistance farming and fishing. There are no doctors at the clinics. I don't even know where the nearest doctor is. Very few medications. Laypeople are trained to dispense the few medicines they have and have very little training. My first experience with the clinic was yesterday. I had tried to prepare myself for it, but I think it is something you can not prepare for. There is no running water or electricity. Women are having babies there with no running water! They are not sterilizing equipment. They have almost no equipment to do wound care and no way to sterilize unless they bring water from somewhere else and boil it and there is no one being paid to do this so it doesn't happen. From what we could tell, no examinations are done on patients. They are only asked what the problem is and then given a medication if it is available. Yesterday afternoon, we went to a sick child clinic which was held outside in the dirt. No chairs for the patients and no table. Poor May had to kneel on the ground while trying to examine kids. We had only 3 medicines with us-Paracetamol (tylenol), cotrimoxazole (antibiotic) and oral rehydration salts. That's it! Unfortunately, time isn't really important here so the women didn't arrive until 4pm and so we could only see about 10 of the 40 kids before we had to leave. We are going to try again on Monday. We had to get going because it was a 5km walk home and it was very hot and we needed to get home before dark! It was an overwhelming experience and we came back and debriefed with the other nurse about how in the world we can make any difference. How can you work when you have no medication and don't know the language? So, I am trying to just relax and know that I can't change the world and that I just need to try to focus on small ways I can maybe help and be thinking about those things.

Ripple Africa is doing incredible work here. They are employing tons of people. The entire organization is ran by locals except for the directors and a volunteer coordinator who live in the UK and come out a few times a year. Otherwise, it is ran by the locals who are doing, a wonderful job. Ripple has built a secondary school, library, employed teachers, etc. etc. I am so glad I chose this organization because I feel it is a good use of my time and money. You get the peace corps experience with some of the comforts of home. We have a cook to cook our dinner meal. We mostly have vegetables and rice with the occasional fresh fish when a fisherman brings us a catch. We have a couple of women doing our laundry. And we have running water and toilets. So, it is a different life, but very comfortable. And I think I will be kept very busy. Besides working at the clinic, I can also help at the schools with a health promotion club and lifeskills training. There are community English classes and after school tutoring. The manager here even offered me to help teach chemistry, which I had to explain to him isn't really my strength! Right now, it is all a bit overwhelming in that you feel like where to start? There is so much you could do, but maybe it was already done by another volunteer or it won't work. so, I am trying to just relax and wait and just observe for a bit.

I will hopefully get to internet every 1-2 weeks. It is only a 30 minute matola (minibus taxi) ride away. I feel very safe here so no need for anyone to worry! Hope everyone at home is well.

Conducting a sick child visit outside

May with a woman we bought papaya from

Our cook, Harry preparing our catfish dinner. You can't get much fresher. It was still breathing!

The wound room at the clinic. Sorry I can't figure out how to turn the picture so you have to turn your head. :=> Not the most sterile of environments.

Giving the medicine to the clinic.

A Bittersweet Good-bye

2009-03-09T22:33:00.001-07:00

I really thought I would have the time in Africa to reflect on my life and what is next. I imagined that I would have lots of time to journal and pray and get comfortable with solitude. Instead, I feel like it has been a whirlwind since the first week until the last week in South Africa. This has been a blessing in a lot of ways. It's kept me from becoming homesick and it means I got connected into the life of the church quickly. There is such a need in the community that I could keep myself busy at all times. But, I am still seeking some of that alone time to force me to figure out the next step. I have the feeling that Malawi will be just the place for it.

My time here in South Africa has been "more" than I could have ever expected. More growing, more challenging, more fun, more rewarding. God has grown me hugely here and I won't be the same because of it. It has also been preparatory, preparing me for Malawi and the things I will encounter there as a nurse. I'm so thankful I came here first and that my time was extended. It will be hard to say good-bye to new friends, but I have a strong feeling that I will be back here. I'm not sure yet in what capacity or at what time, but I know that I will return.

My last week here will be just as busy. My dear friends, John and Erin, from Newberg arrive today continuing there around the world adventure. I get to spend 5 days with them before I leave and we plan to visit Soweto and some museums, eat great food, and catch up. This weekend is Cherish, a women's weekend here at the church, so I'm also hoping to go to that before heading out on Sunday to Malawi. I will hopefully post one more time before leaving.

A few pictures of my past few weeks:

The clinic threw a going away party for me. They were so sweet and I really appreciated it.

More clinic party.

Doing a training on blood pressure to the home based care team. Ignore how terrible of a picture this is of me. :->

Anna practicing taking a blood pressure. I did 4 trainings on how to take blood pressure and it's importance for the home based care team.

Mowing the lawn in the township. Takes a little longer than at home.

Birthday Blessings

2009-02-22T23:35:00.001-08:00

I woke up Feb. 20th thinking, "How can I be 31?". I certainly don't feel like I'm in my 30's. I feel about 26. But, I think my 31st year will be a good one. In fact, I think I could say with confidence that it will be good and full of adventure and challenges. I was a bit sad to be away from family and friends at home, but I felt very blessed that I was able to celebrate it with new some of my close good friends and some awesome new ones. I'll let the pictures tell the rest.

When I woke in the morning and walked into our kitchen, I was greeted by Marlen and Cynthia singing, "Happy Birthday" to me and holding Marlen's homemade cake.

Cynthia (Our cleaner) and Marlen (German volunteer)

Then, I went out to Olievenhautbosch to have a prayer meeting with the other workers and do some training on taking blood pressures. It was an awesome time of prayer and I got sung to again.

Then, I went over to the babies home for a good-bye celebration for Carina, a German volunteer who left. I got to hang out with the kids and they sang happy birthday to me also! I've never been sung to so many times.

Then, I went to coffee with Rebecca, Abigail, and Lexi and ate delicious crumpets and had strawberry juice.

Me with baby Abigail

Lexi (Brittish volunteer), Rebecca, and I

Then, I went to the best Thai restaurant with a bunch of friends and had a fantastic dinner!

Annie (Brittish), Me, Aimee (Brittish), Johanna (American), and Susie (American)

The birthday crew!

When we returned to our place, we enjoyed the cake that Marlen had made. It was delicious!

I also recieved lots of emails and facebook messages throughout the weekend. Thanks for helping me feel loved and blessed on my birthday.

Here comes the sun

2009-02-06T04:40:00.000-08:00

The sun finally came out today after a week of Oregon weather. I've decided that I have a bit of SADD disorder and need the sun. Otherwise, it makes me miss home. But the rain did cause some interesting creatures to appear and I showered twice with a frog and had an outbreak of baby spiders in my room. I think its preparing me for Malawi where there are sure to be lots more creatures.

Some updates from around here:

We've started having a prayer session every Friday in Olievenhautbosch, the township I work in which has been really good and I'm feeling more encouraged and refreshed for this type of work.
The oldest kid at the babies home (5 years) just got his adoption finalized and he will be meeting his parents in March and then heading home to Sweden with them. I'm so excited for him because he is a great kid and deserves a family. He's talking about it a lot and though he's a little unsure of Sweden, hes liking the fact that he will have a family.
I'm gaining more independance at the clinic. Feeling like I'm finally getting the hang of things. And I've been doing lots of blood draws which is good because I hadn't done them in awhile and needed to improve this skill.
My good friends, John and Erin, are coming to visit on March 10th!! I can't wait. They are doing an around the world trip so coming here on one of their stops. I'll get to spend a few days with them before heading into "Africa".
Below are some photos of food packing for Zimbabwe. We packed 1000 bags of food parcels for future groups to take to Zimbabwe. We all sang Disney and Broadway songs to make it go easier. I'm priviledged to get to help this country in a small way.

I hope you all have a blessed week. For those who have commented, thanks for the encouragement and prayers. I miss you guys.

Living Hope

2009-01-17T00:22:00.000-08:00

Romans 15:13-May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

That word, hope, has been a challenging one for me lately. During my almost 3 week break, I was really trying to encourage myself to be positive and hopeful this year. I've been praying that God would bring hope to me. But, I must say, I'm struggling a bit. Yes, these last 3.5 months have been incredible. I can tell that I am growing greatly in my faith and as a nurse. And I am grateful for this opportunity and the people I have met. But, I must also acknowledge that I have never been so spiritually, mentally, and emotionally challenged before. As I told my friend Rebecca, This place messes with your mind. And it is definitely messing with mine. There are a lot of reasons for this and I won't go into all of them now. I'd love to talk with those who are interested when I return, but I am constantly confronted with issues of injustice, mistrust, racial tension, disease, and spiritual oppresion. I realize I came here with a very Western way of thinking and doing things and I'm being humbled more and more that my ways will not work here. That only God can provide hope and healing. Rather than strategies, I need to build relationships and show people I care about them and that they are loved by the God who created them. Only then, do I believe people will have hope and make positive changes and build out of poverty, anger, and disease.

John 15:5-I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

This verse has been speaking to me because I am learning more and more that I must be abiding in Christ in order to bear fruit. Believe me, there is too much suffering and pain in the world for us to do it by setting up organizations and giving money and opening health clinics and..... It won't work because the reality is people need more than that. They need more than money and clinics and schools. They need to know that their life is worthy and meaningful. Otherwise, people will continue to not protect their life against HIV or drink alcohol when they are pregnant knowing the consequences or... because they don't consider their life to have any worth. But it does. God cares about every detail of our lives and created us with purpose.

Thanks for letting me verbally processing or I guess journaling my thoughts. Its been a confusing week and it helps to write it out. I'll share a quick story that does give me great hope and shows me that my faith is only a small amount of what it could be.

On Christmas Eve, I went with others from the church to a government hospital in a township where we send most of our patients. I have heard horror stories about the government hospitals here so wasn't too surprised by the conditions I saw. We visited the pediatric wards and gave out presents and prayed for people. Most of the patients are in a big ward with 10-20 beds and no privacy, but there are a few small rooms off to the side that are private. I went into one of those rooms and there was a crying mother and her incredibly sick baby. The baby was 3 months old and severely sick. In medical terms, the baby was malnourished and was grunting and retracting with every breath. It's entire tiny body was working in order to take each breath. I thought to myself that they are in the private room because the nurses are expecting this baby to die and want the family to have privacy. The mother expressed she would like prayer so I called a few other women into the room that spoke the mother's language and we prayed over the baby and mother. I honestly thought as we prayed that we may witness her last breaths. I was praying more for the mother to be comforted and no pain for the baby than for any type of miracle because it seemed beyond that point. It turned out that the mother was from the township that we are working into and so one of the women (Sophy a health care worker in home based care) got her phone number to keep in touch with them. Last Sunday, Sophy came running up to me all excited and told me that she had called them mom and that the baby was doing well and had been discharged home. I couldn't believe it. And I realized that God is much greater than I give Him credit for. We need to expect the miraculous and I am learning that here.

I hope that story gives you encouragement and I hope you have a blessed week.

It's a New year!

2009-01-11T06:33:00.000-08:00

I always like new years. It is a time of renewed hope and anticipation for the coming year. It seems full of possibilities. Although I can't believe my time here is going so fast, I am excited for the coming year. It is sure to be an interesting one if nothing else.

I dropped Kim off at the airport on Friday and said a tearful good-bye. We had a great time together and I felt so blessed to get to spend the holidays with such good friends. The Le Roux's were very hospitable to share Christmas with us and we enjoyed great food and conversation and watching Abigail open her first presents.

Kim, Marc, Rebecca, Abigail, Gwen and I then set off on the 12+ hour drive to the Eastern Cape to our Fish River holiday. We stayed at the dirty dancing hotel (Not really...it just felt like the dirty dancing hotel because of Uncle Neville, the activity coordinator and all of the family fun activities we could partake in) and enjoyed the pool, miniature golf, ocean, hiking, and lots of reading. It was a very relaxing and rejuvenating time. I'll let the pictures do the rest of the talking. After a week, we returned to Joburg and showed Kim some of the sights including the Apartheid museum and Lion Park.

It has been a good holiday, but I am ready to get back to work again. I definitely missed my family over the holidays and was thankful for the sunny weather and lack of Christmas trees because it didn't feel like Christmas, just a really nice holiday. I hope you and your family had a wonderful Christmas and New Year and you are excited for what God has in the coming year.

The beautiful Le Roux family

Dr. Livingstone, I presume?

Me and Baby Abigail

New Years cracker fun

Kim is Here!

2008-12-24T05:52:00.000-08:00

My dear friend, Kim, arrived from Kenya on Sunday. She is a friend from home and my roommate for the past 5 years and is now teaching in Kenya. It is really fun to have a friend from home visit me here and see this part of my life. It actually really natural feeling to be spending time with her. So far, I have had to work everyday at the babies home until 1pm so we have mostly just be relaxing, hanging out, and socializing. Last night, we went to Thai food with Marc and Rebecca which was great because Thai food is my favorite and I didn't realize they had it a restaurant close by.

Today we visited a government hospital to take gifts to the pediatric wards. The hospital was what I expected with big wards holding about 24 beds. Thankfully, the pediatric wards were only about 1/2 full. The families were appreciative and we also prayed with some of them. A very difficult time to be hospitalized.

We are now waiting for the Le Roux family to pick us up and take us to Marc's parents house. We will spend tonight and tomorrow with his family, swimming in the pool, eating great food, and opening presents. Hard to believe we will be swimming, while our families are stuck in feet of snow!! Kinda wish I was there for the big Oregon snowstorm.

We leave on the 26th for the coast for a week. I'm not sure how much internet access I will have. Love and Blessings to you all!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....???

2008-12-18T04:20:00.000-08:00

It's easier to be away from home during the holidays, when it doesn't feel like Christmastime. It is hard to believe it is only 1 week away and even harder to believe I have been gone for almost 3 months. As Oregon's days are getting shorter and colder, mine are getting longer and sunnier. It is quiet around the property as many people have already left on vacation. In general, I think South African's focus more on spending time with family and vacationing at Christmas, then gift-giving, but the mall was still fairly busy last weekend.

This time of year also means people have more money in their pockets and more free time, so we have seen an increase in assault victims at the clinic. Yesterday, 3 men came in who had been assaulted. It is sad that these two things-money and free-time-create such havoc in some people's lives. This time of year also magnifies the differences between the rich and poor and often white and black. While people with money are leaving for vacations, shopping at malls, and getting to see relatives from far, many other people I have met will be living life as usual. Unable to take time off of work, not affording to buy presents, and living too far from even immediate family to visit them. I don't think I expected the injustices of the world to affect me as much as they have. Probably more than anything else, I am affected because I am convicted. I am part of the rich and white aspect of the world and even though I have compassion and sadness for the poor, I am still shopping with the best of them and planning my vacation. IT'S NOT FAIR!

But, I have a New Year's resolution to be more positive and to stay hopeful. We had a great sermon on Sunday about not always strategyzing and trying to figure things out. But instead seeking God and trusting Him to be in control. I'm realizing that my strategies aren't going to work and especially with my Western way of thinking. I need to spend more time before God and mostly trust Him that there is hope.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas. As you drink hot cocoa and listen to carols, may you reflect on why we celebrate this time of year and may you be a blessing to those around you. I miss you!

Sister Dorothy and me at the clinic Christmas party

Me with beautiful baby Abigail at an outdoor night of carols

Change of plans

2008-12-03T00:22:00.000-08:00

The last few weeks have been busy, but great. So far, I haven't had a dull moment here. I seem to be busier than I was even at home. I'll give you a brief run down of what I've been up to. I have been spending Monday's and Wednesday's helping with the creche (preschool) which is in the same community as the clinic I help in. The creche has about 50 children mostly 5 and 6 year olds, but also a few babies and toddlers. We have been working on curriculum and training the local teachers. Explaining the importance of boiling baby bottles, etc. My role is also to check in on any health concerns that the teachers have for the kids. Mostly, I just refer to the clinic anything I am worried about and write letters to the parents to take their child to the clinic if there is a concern. It has taken awhile to figure out what I am doing, but hopefully I will be more helpful in the few months I am here before going to Malawi. The creche is closing for a month next week and then we will start up again with many new kids. We just had graduation for the kids that will go to primary school last Saturday and it was a great success. The kids were so cute singing songs and doing a nativity play.

On Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, I volunteer in the clinic in whatever they ask me to do. Usually I am assisting the nurses there, but also help in the pharmacy. As I have written before, learning tons.

I am occasionally at the babies home doing child care for them. Currently, they have around 12 kids.

Always lots of church activities going on. We had a night of carols on Sunday and I was part of a puppet video that we created. It has been great to be so involved in the church. Next year, they are starting bible training on Tuesday nights and I'm planning to take this class. Made lots of good friends that I am sure will be life-long over facebook and hopefully in person at some point.

My plans have changed slightly. I am now staying in South Africa until mid-March. The nurse at the babies home wants to go with me to Malawi and stay for a month. She is only able to go in March so we will go there together. This is really an answer to prayer because I was very nervous about journeying to Malawi on my own even though I hear it is very safe. The 10 hour bus ride will be much nicer with a friend. May (the nurse) was born in Zimbabwe and has been to Malawi before so it is more comforting for me. I will still spend 4 months in Malawi taking me into mid-July. I'm not sure now that visiting Kenya is going to work out so then I will either meet people to travel with in this area of Africa or return to SA for a short time before flying home mid-August. I'm looking forward to my dear friend, Kim, arriving in a few weeks. She is currently teaching in Kenya and visiting for Christmas. We are planning to travel with other friends to the Wild Coast, the Eastern coastal area of South Africa. Can't wait!! Miss you all and wish you many Christmas blessings.

By the way, you may feel sorry for me as I had KFC for Thanksgiving. :-<

The creche kids in front of their newly painted wall

They are so cute, they put their stuffed animals and dolls on their backs to carry them as they see their moms and all the women in their community do.

More cute creche kids

New friends: Tumi(South African), me, Derek (South African), Susie (American), and Milson (Brazilian) at a wedding of a couple in the church.

Appreciate your doctor

2008-11-21T07:09:00.000-08:00

I feel a bit overwhelmed today by the responsibilities of being a nurse. I feel like there is so much to know and even if you have the book knowledge, you still have to have some experience of what you are looking for or at in a patient. Because of the lack of doctors in South Africa, nurses have become the key people in primary health care and many people may never see a doctor because the nurse handles all of their concerns. I have been assisting the nurses at the clinic doing sick visits and I am learning loads! I feel so incompetent at times as they will ask me if I have ever done something and when I say no, they look at me a little stunned. So, I have now done 4 pap smears (may not be very exciting to most of you, but very exciting to me because nurses at home can't do these and I've never learned how), am learning to diagnose ear infections, taking out sutures (haven't yet learned to put them in, but that will be coming I am sure), and becoming much better at my exams.

At home, unless you are a nurse practioner, you are not allowed to diagnose and prescribe so I know how to do a basic head to toe exam, but leave it to the doctors to do the diagnostic work. Not here, the nurses must diagnose and prescribe. I don't think this is a good thing because they have less schooling and have not been trained like a doctor, but it is a necesary thing because without nurses here many many people would not be treated. I have never wanted to be a doctor because of the responsibility and because quite honestly, I am not smart enough and don't retain information that well, but I am definitely learning a lot more being here. It is a bit of trial and error, I will say what I think is going on with the patient and they often correct me. At least, I am not on my own. The nurses do pick things up and refer to the hospital for anything that can't do themselves, but I do fear that quite a lot goes unnoticed because they are simply not trained like doctors. They only spend a small amount of time with each patient (they are too busy) mostly weighing, measuring, and giving vaccines unless the parent has specific questions (which is rare, they mostly keep quiet). I think of the children that visited the doctors I worked for at home who spend 20 minutes discussing everything from development to nutrition. Definitely a luxury of the developed world.

Because of people knowing that I am a nurse, I have been asked many questions by friends, church members, and people I know in the community. I do my best, but ultimately I refer a lot of people to the clinic because I am not able to prescribe anyway. Today, I arrived at the creche (daycare/preschool) to try to talk to a mom about her baby which seems chronically ill that I am concerned about. Instead, I found a sick 6 month old that was wheezing and breathing badly. Based on how she was breathing, I thought she needed to be seen today and the clinic was closing in an hour or so. We tried calling the mother but she was an hour away by public transport. She gave us permission to take the baby to the clinic. As we drove to the clinic, me holding the baby (not a lot of car seats here), she seemed improved a bit. She was playful and alert, but her breathing sounded terrible. At the clinic, they diagnosed her with pneumonia and we were able to get medication and take her back to the creche to wait for her Mom. I realized she wasn't as ill as I initially thought, but it was good to get her on medication and now the Mother doesn't have to take her to the clinic tomorrow. A lot of decision making with a lot of responsibility attached, I'm not sure I like it. :-> Decisions such as should we tell the mother to take her tomorrow or take her now? What if she worsens overnight? Will the Mom be upset if we take her now? Will I get to the clinic and look foolish because maybe she isn't that bad? Where's Dr. Armsby when I need him? (The pediatrician I worked for at home is Dr. Armsby and he is fantastic).

Sometimes, I wish I was back at The Children's Clinic where I was comfortable and confident. I was limited in what I could do and there was always someone with more knowledge to take over. But I know that it takes getting out of your comfort zone to really grow and learn.

TIA (This Is Africa)

2008-11-13T08:33:00.000-08:00

The internet is still down because it was struck by lightening, so I'm currently writing this at an internet cafe. It could be fixed anytime between tomorrow and 3 months. It is likely to be longer because it has been raining and people tend to stay in when it rains making it less likely that the internet fixers will come sometime soon.
There are these really weird spit bugs that live in a tree in the community. They form these giant frothing spitballs that drip from the tree making it feel like it is drizzling rain. The ground underneath the tree is wet from the spit. Pretty disgusting.
You have to time your laundry correctly or it ends up rewashed by the rain and potentially soaking wet for days. I did my laundry hoping it would dry in the afternoon, but it started raining and rained off and on for the next several days so that they never dried. Luckily, a friend let me use her dryer and I now have clean clothes again.
You quickly realize that the portion sizes in America are huge and that bottomless drinks may not be a good thing. I'm losing weight without trying, yay!!!

It's all politics

2008-11-09T06:31:00.000-08:00

It has been strange to be here without television, radio, newspapers, and limited internet. I could have access to these things easily here in South Africa, but I have to admit it has been a nice change to not have a daily bombardment of political rhetoric, so I haven't been searching it out. It has begun to feel that the South Africans know more about what is happening than myself (which is probably true) as they have followed the election very closely. Being overseas has shown me the importance of what happens in the US to other countries. We have a lot of power and this power has great and grave consequences for the world.

I have to be honest that it would be difficult to be here and not be a Obama supporter. Everyone I have met was in support of Obama and it was much more comfortable for me to be able to say truthfully that I also supported Obama. One of the first questions many people have asked me when they learn that I am American is who I voted for and when I said Obama, there was often a nod of approval. An example was at the Zimbabwe border crossing. I'm always a bit nervous when I cross a border because there is always the fear that you will be declined from entering and going to Zimbabwe was no exception. The man took my passport and seeing that I was American, asked me who I was voting for. When I said Obama, he smiled and said "I will give you a cheaper price for your visa". I'm not sure the price he gave me was actually cheaper, but I did pay less than my Canadian and Brittish friends. There is the African pride of a black American president, but also there is the hope that he will care about Africa and several people have told me "He will do good things for Africa".

I hope so and I pray that he lives up to the hope that people have placed in him. I'm sure he will not be perfect and there will continue to be great problems, but I am hopeful for this is a huge step for America towards a new era.

On another note, I'm feeling really good about things here. I finally feel like I'm helping at the clinic and not a burden. I worked as the pharmacist tech for the past 2 weeks as there regular pharmacy tech was gone the past week so I was able to take over which felt great (they don't have a pharmacist at the clinic so the tech is essentially the pharmacist). I had to chuckle as I'm pretty sure a pharmacy at home wouldn't be able to let anyone begin dispensing medication. :->

Thanks for your prayers. My baptism was wonderful and the sun was shining and I felt very supported. I may be able to post pictures at a later date. My internet is a bit limited because it was struck by lightening so it is down. I'm currently writing this at a friend's place. Hopefully it will be up and running again soon.

A few pictures

2008-10-31T07:54:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all of the encouragement this week. I am feeling much better and all of these challenges are making me grow. I have to say it has been an incredible, challenging, emotional, exciting, hopeful, sad, and amazing experience so far. Thanks for taking the journey with me.

I am getting baptized on Sunday. I am so excited to be taking this step of faith. This might confuse some of you and am open to any questions. It is something I have wanted to do for a long time, but was always too embarrassed or self-conscious to before. I actually felt God calling me to get baptized here as I was coming.

OK, here are some pictures of the community I am working into:

Some of the nurses I am working with

A fairly typical government developed home in the township

Another common home in the township

Love and Some Verses

2008-10-27T07:06:00.000-07:00

This week has been a bit harder for me. I can’t pinpoint an exact reason, but I have had a general feeling of melancholy. I think that it is a combination of being sick at the beginning of the week, still feeling a bit unsure of myself in my work environment, and missing family and friends back home. I thought I wouldn’t have feelings of homesickness or culture shock this time because I have been here before and I’m thirty so should be mature enough to handle things, but I’m learning that age has nothing to do with it and experience only takes you so far. There is still the reality that I am completely dependant on other people to take me to the grocery store, work, and on any social outing. I am still in a work environment that is completely new to me in terms of nursing, but has the added complications of language and culture barriers. All of this is making me feel very insecure. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still enjoying myself and have been blessed beyond measure by the people here, but I want to be honest in these blogs and being so far from home and people that truly know me is difficult. I think one of the biggest difficulties is cultural and many times it is only later that you realize there was a cultural exchange that was uncomfortable. An example was that I was recently at the store and I was trying to find something. I walked up to a employee who was shelving items and asked where the item was. She seemed taken aback that I was asking her and somewhat quickly dismissed me. I took this as her being rude and unhelpful, but my American friend Johanna who has lived here about 7 years pulled me aside and explained that you always greet someone first. I should have said hello and how are you or spoken to her a bit before asking her where the item was. Apparently, I had been quite rude to simply ask her where something was without these formalities. I’ve also learned recently that it is very rude to not place your knife and fork together on your plate when you are finished eating. I have probably come across very rudely in many homes and I only learned about this custom this week and have eaten with many people. Despite my insecurities, I am enjoying myself also. I saw the Broadway show Beauty and the Beast last night to celebrate my friend’s birthday. It was a fantastic show and Gaston in particular was fabulous.

The church here is currently diving into 7 weeks of love. This means that the sermons, worship, prayer time and everything is focusing on love and what love actually is. How amazing it would be if we could actually grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ (Ephesians 3:18) For if we truly grasped this, we would love freely without any need for approval or gain. It would be a selfless love. We have the ability to love this way because Christ first loved us in this way, but it takes courage and vulnerability to experience and give this type of love. And mostly it requires an intimate relationship with the God who created us because He is love and is the only one that can show us what true love is. I have to admit that this is a challenge for me, but I imagine what this world would be if we truly knew the certainty of God’s love. Imagine what people would do if we didn’t hold back or worry what others thought or lived from a place of hurt or insecurity. The amount of love and friendship and hope and integrity and selfless giving would be overwhelming.

Ephesians 3:17-19 “And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love surpasses knowledge and you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God”.
This is my prayer for you.

Learning Patience

2008-10-20T02:51:00.000-07:00

I have been in South Africa nearly 3 weeks and although I am enjoying myself greatly and learning lots, some of the excitement and romance are wearing off and I am finding myself frustrated at the small inconveniences. This morning was especially testing my patience as I spent almost 2 hours trying to get my email to work. As of now, I don't have access to facebook and I have limited access to internet. It goes out quite frequently and I hear it will more and more with thunderstorms beginning. So, if I don't write you back it is likely because I don't have access to internet. Being used to getting online anytime I want and having it go quickly, this is requiring great patience on my part. But in the end, it will probably be good for me. I really shouldn't be complaining with how wonderful everyone has been and with it being such an easy transition.

OK, enought venting on to the important stuff...

I worked with the TB nurse the past week at the clinic. I saw some very sick people. When you hear the word wasted to describe people with AIDS, it is very true. Many of the people I saw the past week looked like they were starving because their bodies were just skin and bones. They were also very weak. This made them look much older than they were and I was often surprised when I saw their date of birth in the chart and that they were in their twenties or thirties. I honestly thought one man was in his fifties, but he is only thirty. What is amazing is that many of them can improve greatly with TB and HIV medication. At times, I feel like we are only putting a band-aid on the problem because the real problems are poverty, stigma, lack of education, lack of women's rights, domestic abuse, multiple sexual partners and sex abuse, drug abuse and the list goes on. What people need more than anything is hope and to feel valued because without this, they give up and believe that their lives are worthless.

I also worked at the babies home on Saturday and it was great to get to know the kids. For those of you who knew about my work here 5 years ago, a quick update on the kids I previously cared for. All of them have been adopted except the four oldest who are living with a foster mom on the church property. They are doing amazingly and are healthy and happy. There is only one other child still at the babies home who was only 6 months old when I was here before and she will hopefully be fostered soon. I am hoping to start teaching the older kids swimming lessons soon. There is a pool on the church property. (I guess I shouldn't be complaining about inconveniences, right? :->)

Otherwise, I am getting know many of the people in the church and have been attending a few different life groups (home groups) and also getting to know the other volunteers better. Last night there was a scorpion in one of the other girl's rooms and so I am now shaking out my clothes before putting them on and examining my bed carefully each night.

Loving the people of Zimbabwe

2008-10-13T07:59:00.000-07:00

We had an incredible trip to Zimbabwe. Thanks for your prayers, we could definitely see God preparing the way for us and guiding us through this trip. A quick overview of what has been happening in Zim (from what I know anyway, which isn't a lot). Zim has been on a downward spiral for many years and is now in a state of crises with its people facing starvation. Zim used to be the "breadbasket" of Africa producing tons of food, but in the 80's, white farmers were forced off their land with the encouragement of the government and the people who took over the farms did not know how to do the farming. This created a food shortage and a collapse of their economy causing great inflation. As more and more people became resentful of the government and started calling for change, the president began doing whatever it took to stay in power including threats and violence. Now, approximately 1/3 of all the population has left Zimbabwe and those left are facing starvation because of either lack of food or extraordinary prices for anything. Urban Life Church, the church I am working through and where I am living, is sending teams into Zim to different areas to try to provide some food relief. Food aid is not allowed by the government, but the church gets around it because each person entering Zim is allowed a certain amount of food to take to friends and relatives so we just say that we are visiting friends and have enough people to take quite a lot of food.

It took us about 14 hours to arrive in Bulawayo, Zim on Friday after a 4 hour delay at the border. They were checking everyone's trailers and trucks and there were many people trying to get through. We were up early the next morning though and first headed to a nursing home where we delivered food parcels and visited with the people. The doctor there has been practicing in Zim for 50 years and I would guess is around 80 years old. He took me to see a lady who had just had a hip replacement. I was able to pray with her and a few other people. An interesting thing is that when we arrived we went to the wrong place initially and met a woman running a soup kitchen. At first we thought this was the place and began unpacking the food, but soon figured out it was wrong. But, it was a divine appointment because we had 10 extra food bags and were able to leave some with her. She was very excited because they were down to very little.

After leaving the nursing home we traveled a very pot-holed road, with me bouncing along in the back of the truck to a town about 1 hour away. We delivered food to the church there and then the pastor led us to 2 small villages. It was amazing to see how the people live. We formed a chain to pass the food from the truck to the hut and I was standing inside the hut next to a woman who had been cooking when we arrived. With each parcel of food, her smile grew larger and larger and I could see her eyes getting wider. Then we passed in maize meal (their main staple) and she was obviously overjoyed. These villages are very out of the way so they dont get food brought very often.

Inside one of the huts, the woman is described above

In the villiage

We returned to the city of Bulawayo and showed a movie to a church to try to provide some joy. We showed Horton Hears A Who - a great movie by the way. We gave popcorn and juice and hopefully for a few hours they could forget their worries.

I feel so priviledged that I was able to be a part of this amazing team and do something to try to make a difference in this region.